Exactly exactly just What had been the probabilities things could find yourself violently with me, of course, getting the shitty end between us? Might Trayvon force himself on me personally in a manner that I became unwilling to just accept but not able to stop?! We were holding maybe perhaps not idle concerns. We thought long and difficult concerning this, however in the end We decided that no, he’dn’t accomplish that. Centered on exactly just exactly what, you may well ask? Good question — we don’t understand.
Another consideration had been, that which was Trayvon getting away from this relationship? Obviously, he’d have a intercourse partner and also at minimum some use of my canteen account. We knew he previously simply no cash, in which he knew that I had at the least some cash. Maybe he had been really drawn to me personally in which he had been a mooch — an opportunity was represented by me to meet both requirements! Ended up being here such a thing undoubtedly wrong with that? Only at that very very early phase we told myself that for as long as he didn’t get too greedy I became fine to allow him have soup or even a honey bun as he desired one thing. Why shouldn’t I reward him for their relationship? In the end, I endured to have one thing using this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have a jail bad-ass back at my part in the event I got harassed or threatened.
Did Trayvon have HIV or other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he previously to have tested sporadically and blah blah blah. I did son’t press the presssing problem or require seeing the test outcomes. Alternatively We asked myself — keep in mind, this person had been assigned to kitchen responsibility — Would my state’s DOC designate some guy with HIV compared to that types of task? I experienced to think the solution had been no, no chance. Other inmates later on laughed inside my self- confidence in DOC! Additionally, he wasn’t using any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or solitary dosage. Consequently we judged him become healthier.
Ended up being I the sole guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either immediately in my own dorm or in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did we worry about that? A prison dorm is all about the smallest amount of personal spot you can are now living in, therefore I could see the vast majority of Trayvon’s interactions with other people. He previously other friends, black colored & white. Achieved it appear to be he had been striking on any one of those dudes? Solution — no. As to I must’ve cared or I wouldn’t have been paying so much attention whether I cared. But we told myself we cared perhaps not away from jealousy but because I became nevertheless racking your brains on their genuine motives and concerned about getting an STD.
We asked myself: me unfaithful to my ex-wife with whom I hoped to reconcile when I got out if I do this does that make? Exactly exactly just What would which means that? We had been divorced!
Could achieving this somehow turn me personally homosexual after a very long time to be that is straight least because it relates to grownups? I did son’t know yet because I experiencedn’t had this experience yet. But we thought — no. I happened to be creating an exception that is special texas rabbitscams this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that will end as soon as we ended. We thought, “Trayvon is really an unique situation. What other young black colored dudes might be enthusiastic about an adult white guy? ” Up to now, i did son’t feel any gayer. I became simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It absolutely was a jail thing.
Before looking at the potential advantages Trayvon needed to provide being a “friend with advantages” I need to say one final instead serious issue that I didn’t think of in front of time — although in hindsight i truly need! Which was, assume we had been discovered? Assume rumors because I was spending a lot of time hanging around Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each other a lot about us began to fly around the dorm just? Just exactly What would we do, if such a thing, to squelch rumors that are such?
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